A Letter to Future Me

I started this blog a year ago as a way to keep my friends and family back home updated on my life in Michigan. It’s hard to believe that in less than 3 weeks, I’ll be back on 1st Veenstra!

I’ve written reflections and told stories about my first year at Calvin but I’ve never written to my future self. At the end of high school, my Economics teacher had us write down goals for ourselves and told us to write down what we wanted to be doing in the future. We were asked the following question: Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10 years?

Easy. In 10 years, I would be 28. I would be graduated from college, married, living in a nice two story house near the beach in California, have 2 young kids, and be a successful teacher.

My perfect life.

As I look back on my plans, I laugh. Those are 100% my plans. That may be where I had wanted to be, but where does God want me to be?

Giving this more thought, I’ve realized that recently I’ve created a lot of checklists. In fact, one of these checklists (“To Do Before August 24”) is next to me as I write this. On this checklist, I have boxes next to items I need to complete before I leave for Calvin. I have letters to write, friends to see, books and pictures to order, clothes and papers to pack, work days to complete…the list seems to go on forever.

I will turn 20 this year and enter a time of my life where “The Checklist of Growing Up” starts to disappear. This checklist includes the basics of schooling and is one of many possible life paths into adulthood: go to pre-school, elementary school, middle school, graduate high school while finding a college, decide what you want to do with the rest of your life, and graduate college. Then the checklist ends. 

I still have 3 years at Calvin before I graduate. In those 3 years, I will face numerous decisions and choices that will influence the person I am becoming. Some of these decisions will be made for me but I will also have to choose what opportunities I want to pursue. I love that Calvin gives students endless opportunities but it can be difficult to pick and choose. For example, in my junior year, should I be a RA, live in the on-campus apartments, or in a house? If I live off-campus, who should I live with? What meal plan would I get if I lived off-campus? What if I don’t get into the classes I need to graduate? Will I have to stay an extra semester to student teach? Can I student teach where I attended elementary school? Will I have a job after I graduate? Will I be in a relationship? Where will I live?

I could end the post here. Worried. Uncertain. Full of fear.

Or I could keep writing. Confident, positive, and hopeful of what the future has in store.

Future me, I have no doubt that you are doing amazing things with fantastic people. I write this before your sophomore year in college. Many doors have opened this summer that you had no idea existed. Remember that one time you taught swimming lessons? Worked as a church receptionist? Had a job offer that you didn’t apply to? The best things have come to you unexpectedly. Stop planning. Nothing will work if you plan according to your own timeline.

Remember when you were in high school? A wise teacher gave the same speech every Friday. You knew his words before he said them. One line of this speech sticks out: “whatever you’re doing, wherever you live, whoever you hang out with, know that your heavenly Father is watching.” Make good choices as opportunities present themselves, but not without talking to God first. You may be the one walking, but He is the one guiding. Don’t forget to thank Him for the gifts He has given.

It’s fine to not have everything figured out. What if you already knew the outcome of junior year?  What if you got everything the way you wanted? I don’t think that would be the best way to live. If it was, God would have given it to you. His plans will forever be better than yours. Don’t be mad or angry if your plans don’t work out. Instead, be patient and trust His timing. There is no way of knowing the future. If we did, what would be the fun of living and learning through each day? You wouldn’t learn about yourself or your Creator and the plans He has for you.

You never had anything to be worried about, uncertain of, or fear.

Bri (or Brianna, I don’t know what people will be calling you), I’m hoping you plan to some degree. Have ambitions and continue to create goals based on the gifts that God has given you. Continue to anticipate what is to come, whether it be good or bad.

P.S. I hope you never get tired of eating chips and salsa and reading middle school novels.

Lots of love,

Bri(anna)

Friends and family, I’m excited to move forward on this journey and share what God’s plans are for my life.

Until my next post, it’s a good day to have a good day. Go out and seek those opportunities that have been prepared in advance for you to do.