What Young Women living in the 21st Century need to know

This post is dedicated to the ladies of 2nd Noordewier during the 2017-2018 school year. I was so blessed to have the privilege of knowing you and experiencing life with you. Thank you for sharing yourselves with me and teaching me more than I could ever write in a blog post.

Last year, I had the privilege of living and working as a Resident’s Assistant at Calvin College. I enjoyed forming deep relationships with freshmen, sophomores, and juniors, eating delicious early breakfasts at Wolfgang’s, playing jeopard-tea with my suitemates, and watching women form friendships with each other while experiencing the wonderful and special community in the dorms.

As I have been reflecting on the year of being a Resident’s Assistant and thinking about what it means to be a woman in our world, God has put some ideas on my heart. In this post, I would love to share about what I believe young women living in the 21st century need to know. Many of these ideas come from recent conversations with residents and friends and are most importantly centered in what God calls us to be as women.

• YOU don’t need to be ashamed

Our society tells us the way we should be and the way we should act. Sometimes, choices made in one moment can become memories that are later regretted. These memories turn into shame and can become part of our identity. We can begin to act in ways that are associated with this particular shame and feel isolated and burdened. Often times, we hold on these things with closed fists instead of remembering that we are free and washed as white as snow. 

• YOU are more than your social media account

Ask yourself the following questions: How much time do I spend on Instagram/Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat? How much time do I spend editing my pictures? How much time do I spend thinking of a caption? How much time do I spend scrolling though the explore page, comparing my life to random strangers? Why do I have a social media account? In what areas is it adding to my life? Is it subtracting from my life?

Technology is a great gift but it has the potential to bring hurt and pain. We must be careful with how we view our feeds. People put the best version of themselves on social media and have the power to give users what they want. We live in an era of photo manipulation where skin tone can be changed, faces can be re-touched, and smiles can be made whiter. We are tempted with comparison wherever we turn. Be on guard when looking at social media. Instagram will fade out in 5-10 years and you will still be here. Don’t find your identity on your phone.

• YOU can take action

A wise person once told me this: Seven birds are sitting on a telephone wire. Two decide to leave. How many birds are on the wire now? I’ll let you take a guess, and no, the answer is not five.

It’s still seven. Two only decided to leave. They didn’t take action and are still sitting on the wire. 

Look around—you are living your young adult life! The opportunities for your life are endless and exciting. Plug yourself into your passions and be willing to grow in areas where you are uncomfortable. If you are excited about education, volunteer at church in the children’s ministry or read to kids at a local library. If you feel uncomfortable around senior citizens but something inside you tugs at your heart to get involved, head over to a retirement home and make puzzles with residents. It all starts with that first step—take it!

• YOU have worth

How do you see yourself? Take the time to create a list of different qualities and attributes that you see in yourself. Ask friends and family to fill you with words of affirmation as they share the beauty they see in you.

If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people, you are going to lose sight of your own worth. Stop looking for your worth in places that go against the truth and be reminded of your identity in Christ.

• YOU are worthy of real love

Not the type of Disney movie love that begins instantly one morning and ends in marriage at sunset or the “love” that is often confused with infatuation. This love is much more than that. This love is patient and kind. It does not boast and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Real love does not take advantage of your body or abuse you. Real love is not solely based on your physical body and what your body has to offer. Real love does not call you dumb or stupid.

Real love will vow and commit to you despite your imperfections and faults. Real love will apologize and forgive. Real love will encourage you to pursue your passions.

• YOUR body has value

As Tom and Donna say (Parks and Recreation reference), Treat Yo Self! When I hear that phrase, I’m reminded of Princess Mia (Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries) as she sits in a chair with cucumber slices on her eyes, preparing for her new identity as a Princess. Mia does not know that she has been a Princess since birth and has not been giving her body the proper royal care it deserves. We are Princess Mia—we have been adopted by the King and have been called Princess before we even knew our King. We have this high identity and are not being responsible with how we treat our bodies.

Take care of your body—your body is beautiful. Go for a walk around the neighborhood, swim in a pool, or bike downtown for ice cream. Enjoy eating healthy foods while treating yourself in moderation. Learn what balance works for you and invite friends to journey with you while keeping you accountable.

• YOU should go out to breakfast with people

Community is a wonderful thing. I didn’t recognize the beauty of community until I arrived at the dorms and plugged myself into different aspects of this community. Through community, you experience the joy of sharing life with other people. You have the privilege of learning about others through their stories and struggles, and while doing this, open yourself up to sharing your own stories and struggles. Community walks alongside each other and watches each other grow. How wonderful is that?

I think that one of the best places for community is breakfast. There is something magical about waking up before the sun to enjoy a half Hazelnut coffee/half Hot Chocolate drink and a plate of fully cooked eggs and pancakes.

If you’re reading this, make community happen! Reach out to someone and get breakfast. I have some great recommendations in Grand Rapids and in Southern California. Also, I’d love to tag along to breakfast and am willing to travel if you aren’t in Grand Rapids or Southern California :)

• YOU are beautiful (and it’s not because of how you look)

Googling the word beautiful, I learned that beauty is often defined as…

1. the perfection of form
2. the perfection of noble or spiritual qualities

Why is the physical aspect of beauty first?! Living in our broken sinful world, society tells us that we are not enough. As Christians, we are told that there is more than meets the eye, but do we really believe this?

Looking to God’s definition of beauty, I headed to Bible Gateway. Bless up for Google and other websites that make it easy to find the perfect verse!

Genesis 1:27 & 31—“God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

Song of Songs 4:7—“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

1 Samuel 16:7—“Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

As a child of God that has been created to the most perfect definition of good, let’s work on being the change that our broken world needs when it comes to beauty.

Be who God has created you to be, because as children of God—you are loved, unique, needed, made for so much more, wonderfully made—and nothing is more beautiful than knowing that.

• YOU are being faithfully pursued by a loving God

“He saw your heart to the bottom but loved you to the skies” — I love this quote. It reminds me that Jesus sees it all. He knows the depths of my heart. I encourage you to grow in your faith. Commit to reading a book of the Bible or reading a devotional during the upcoming school year. I read through the Message version of Proverbs this year and was constantly reminded that God was guiding, leading, and giving me wisdom throughout the year. Start a faith journal where you can write your prayer requests and share how God is working in your life. Learn about who you are as a woman who bears God’s image. 

May God bless you, lead you, and guide you and may you bring Him all the honor, glory, and praise in all that you do and say.